For Wole

Two weeks ago, I did a piece titled ‘The Tarzan Monologues,’ where I talked about my visit to Terra Kulture, including the exchange between Wole Oguntokun, producer Theatre@Terra and the audience, when he introduced the play for October.

And so, last week Sunday was the premier of the famous play, and our dear Wole was there. “I was surfing the internet when I read Funke’s article,” he told the audience, why Tarzan was the question she raised. But my Tarzan is not a white man as she wrote in the article. They are black men.”

It was a hilarious experience for me to hear men talk about their pains and frustrations, dreams and aspirations. They talked about both serious and unserious issues, those unexpected matters that bother them.

The fact that the society has placed so much on the man because of his masculinity is one of the issues raised in the play. The first monologue titled: E get as e be, by Kanayo Okani, points out all the other monologues in the right direction as it states pointedly salient problems faced by a poor man, a man struggling to survive.

A man without money is regarded as an outcast among friends and families, as he cannot contribute anything logical to important discussions because he is penniless, according to some Nigerians. Hence, he stylishly excuses himself from taking on responsibilities such as settling the bills at home, funding his father’s funeral rite or even getting a birthday or valentine gift for his girlfriend. “If you wan waka with pride,” says Okani, “scarcitygo make your hand fall.”
In one of the monologues, O.C Ukeje narrated his experience (I’m sure it’s not a personal one) about erectile - dysfunction, premature ejaculation, sexual-weakness or impotency, as some of the issues bothering men. There are men who suffer from these sexual problems.
He said it was the desire of all men to indulge in sexual feelings and acts, and it was a natural state of mind to feel this way and naturally make love and produce other life form. Hence, the inability to do this takes away the man’s ego.

It also has psychological effect on the man who often feels inferior to his peers on one hand, while he lacks the confidence to talk to a woman on the other. Such an experience could be really devastating.

Paul Alomona’s monologue on The First Time was quite touching. “I was 13, Aunty was 32,” he said as he began his narration, “She called me after my parents had gone to work. She told me: ‘hold me, touch me, hold me close, don’t let go. The embrace went on for two years until Aunty travelled. Now, whenever I am with my girlfriend, it’s Aunty’s image I see with her words: ‘touch me here, touch me there, hold me close, don’t let go.’”

It may sound funny, but it is true that some women do indulge in such act.
And of course, Kunle Ayoola’s monologue on Me, My Girl, Her Pastor and the Church was funny. It brings to bare the influence of pastors on the members of their congregation, the fact that a woman needs her pastor’s approval for the right man.

“I have a problem, I want to marry. However, my girl said before I could marry her I have to pass a test. The test is an outside one which is important to her. I must be scrutinised by her pastor! A woman needs validation from her pastor, friends, families, hairdresser and dance instructor.”

Closely related to Kunle’s narration was Bimbo Manuel’s, on a man dating a woman who is 30 years younger than him. “If a girl is old enough to vote, is she not old enough to choose a life partner?” he asked, “they will give you an evil eye if your partner is 20 and your 50. But there is no law that says a man must not choose a partner that is 4, 10, 30, 40 years younger.”
The play was quite interesting and it feels good to know that men like women have issues to deal with. But in spite of the differences, there should be a common ground for both sexes to resolve these differences. The key word, if you ask me, is tolerance.

The ability to overlook and forgive one another, no matter how bad, is the wisdom needed. It is about seeing one another as humans and not as male and female. To an extent, I like Wole’s objectivity with script and the fact that at the end, he states categorically that men who rape women are beasts!