The MJ that never was

I did not get to hear of Michael Jackson’s death until the early hours of last week Friday. It was an impolite shock to me, as it was like a dream, some kind of a nightmare. And I still can not believe that MJ is no more. His figure still looms large on the international music scene even after his death, and this will remain so for a long time to come.

As we all can remember, MJ lived a life full of controversies, one that was rooted in inferiority complex created in him since early childhood. Michael once stated that he was physically and emotionally abused by his father from a young age, enduring incessant rehearsals, whippings and name-calling. His father reportedly nicknamed him Big Nose. This attitude from his father had a lasting but damaging effect on his person, yet he credited his father's strict discipline as playing a large part in his success.

In one dispute as the story goes, his father held him upside down by one leg and punched him over and over again, hitting him on his back and buttock. Joseph, his father, would also trip or push his male children into the walls.

According to a report, one night while Michael was asleep, Joseph climbed into his room through the bedroom window, wearing a fright mask screaming and shouting. Joseph disclosed later that he wanted to teach his children not to leave the windows open when they went to sleep. For years afterwards, Michael admitted suffering nightmares about being kidnapped from his bedroom. In 2003, Joseph admitted to the BBC that he had whipped Michael as a child.

It is believed these disciplinary measures taken by the Jackson ’s father had a negative effect on his son who died a lonely man. Perhaps, this inferiority complex made him wanted to become a white man through and through. He asked that his nose be reshaped and his skin bleached.

MJ lived as a man who wanted to be accepted in a racist American society, and in spite of his world acclaimed fame; he still suffered from social acceptance. Perhaps, he thought the only way he could do this was to become white since that was the condition provided by the then segregated American society. Michael was born a cute African-American guy; normal, if you will permit me to call him that, and very talented. Despite the current, sad stories about his lonely, sad childhood, Michael grew up surrounded by famous people and an adoring public.

It is reported that Michael first spoke openly about his childhood abuses in a 1993 interview with Oprah Winfrey, noting that during his childhood he often cried from loneliness and would sometimes start vomiting upon seeing his father. In his other high profile interview, ‘Living with Michael Jackson, 2003,’ he covered his face with his hand and began crying when talking about his childhood abuses.

Michael recalled that his father sat in a chair with a belt in his hand as he and his siblings rehearsed and that "if you didn't do it the right way, he would tear you up, really get you.” The loneliness he suffered from as a child affected him adversely, even as an adult and the closest person to him until his death was his producer.

If MJ had been brought up by a father who was able to balance leniency and great disciplinary measure may be he would have still been alive. May be he would not have suffered so greatly from loneliness in spite of his vast fan base; may be he would have had a stable marriage; may be he would have struggled with his facial features, and there would have been no need for the several plastic surgeries that marked all the stages of his life.

He would have been a very handsome proud African-American, and not have strove to become a white man.